be good to yourself...

depression... it is like a vacuum sucking the energy right from your body.  i knew i had to make major changes in my life. i remember a quote "don't expect to see a change if you don't make one"... and boy did i want a change.  of course winter is the worst of all times possible .. its cold, dark and wet, but it wasn't getting better.. so... one day.. as soon as climbed from my bed.. i made a decision. "lets get on with it"... inhale/exhale...... as i was dressing for the day, i thought about some changes i wanted in my life. things i wasn't enjoying or things i wanted in my life... and i started a simple journal.  its strangely peculiar how predisposed we are, and how getting to know yourself is almost odd.. to live inside yourself and not really know yourself, and suddenly you are awakened...i didn't not want to like squash, but no matter how hard i try.. i don't like squash... i don't like to swim, i do know how to swim, but i don't like swimming...we simply are who we are.  music, food, clothing, hobbies, books and even our friends... i realized so many of these personality traits are based on exposure.  (exception; squash and swimming)...
so, that brings me here... exposure....
i recently had a conversation with my oldest daughter Loren... we were talking about life and choices, and the fact that in the end it is the experiences that you will cherish not the "things".....

she agreed and we decided in 2016 to create 16 experiences.. something neither of us had done before (but wanted to).  we started a list..
our first is a picnic lunch on the atlanta beltline


our second is a carriage ride in charleston..girls weekend getaway..
one of the places i hope to add is a night on beautiful cumberland island. ... the planning of our 16 experiences for this year has been so much fun..the list continues and is updated weekly...


some other recent changes.... health, mind and body.  habits are so hard to break.  I have succeeded in breaking several... (a little pat on my shoulder).. i am quite proud of myself.



eating much healthier, my bad eating habits were catching up with me... feeling sluggish and slow.  I have started with the basics, water, water, water and raw veggies... oh and raw honey.
i was speaking with a friend at school, i couldn't say if it is a placebo effect or a positive body response... but, i can promise you.. something happened... it started 3 days after i started using raw honey and cinnamon ... i felt energy coming back into my body... energy i haven't had in quite a while.. someone even commented to me that morning as i was getting on the elevator.. "you look like sunshine on this rainy day"..  i smiled as the doors closed thinking to myself... finally, i am on my way back...
 xoxo till next time
sandy

it's been a while......

sometimes while living our happy simple wonderful life, something happens that changes everything.  in an instant, your life is changed forever... i don't like to share grief, or hurt or anything that isn't pleasant..... as a matter of fact, i don't think i like to share my private thoughts or feelings... strange to admit that.. i like the creative part of my life, murals, freshly painted walls, newly painted cabinets.. but if i am going to be honest .. my entire life has been derailed for quite sometime... my heart has been broken, and i don't know if i can ever fully recover... i recently lost my lifetime best friend.. my heart was already severely scarred and broken .. from a loss I will never recover... i sincerely didn't know how i could ever survive that pain. my dearest friend was my strength, she was the words i needed, she was the arms that wrapped me so tightly and never let go...she was the shoulder and the ears that kept me sane.... i remember something she said to me during that time...
"you will never heal completely,... but you will learn to live again; even with a broken heart"...... ...so, i keep trying to hold onto my memories and a love that even death cannot erase. that's it.. i said it... it's something i can't fix... i can't make better. i opened up, i expressed it.. and that is huge for me..

My girls have been so sweet....i am truly blessed, ... we got thru all the holidays.. Thanksgiving.. was at my house this year.. we cooked, baked and shopped the entire weekend. I needed the laughter... the breath of fresh air that comes so naturally with twenty somethings..










after dinner, we joined the thousands of atlanta shoppers ...it was so much fun spending the entire weekend with these sweeties... later we all stopped by my house for coffee and dessert and back out again... we tag teamed the sales... cellphones were going off constantly during the manic super sales... i ticked off half my list that evening.. xoxo the rest was online shopping!
Friday afternoon Erin "my youngest" and i hit up every tree farm in atlanta .. in search of the perfect Christmas Tree... (she informed me i was too picky).. lol... nah... i just knew when i had found the tree.. it felt right.. the smell.. oh gosh.. the smell of a Christmas tree is so incredibly nostalgic.. i can close my eyes and vividly remember my childhood Christmases; just by the smell of a Christmas tree.

here she is... (sans the lights)...
Christmas morning santa comes... he always unloads his sleigh; right in the middle of our living room...we celebrate Christmas with our family on Christmas Eve, and then midnight service. Christmas morning is Santa...

family room

I had scheduled to have a new roof installed after Thanksgiving... due to rescheduling by the contractor twice .. it was installed Christmas week.. things never go as planned.. ever!!!! lol
a roofer fell thru the ceiling!!! ... oh yes he did!!!!... 2 days before my sister was coming in town for Christmas.. i had sheet rock being installed and sanding and painting... now that it is over.. i can laugh.. but NOT then.. (oh btw, nobody was injured .. he fell thru and caught himself on the rafter and dropped into the living room).. i was not home when this happened.. thank goodness.

fast forward to Valentines Day..
I spy beautiful blooming tulips... xoxo..

and that brings us to present time... one step at a time... one day at a time.. reminding myself of the present, and never ever forgetting the past.

till next time