it's been a while......

sometimes while living our happy simple wonderful life, something happens that changes everything.  in an instant, your life is changed forever... i don't like to share grief, or hurt or anything that isn't pleasant..... as a matter of fact, i don't think i like to share my private thoughts or feelings... strange to admit that.. i like the creative part of my life, murals, freshly painted walls, newly painted cabinets.. but if i am going to be honest .. my entire life has been derailed for quite sometime... my heart has been broken, and i don't know if i can ever fully recover... i recently lost my lifetime best friend.. my heart was already severely scarred and broken .. from a loss I will never recover... i sincerely didn't know how i could ever survive that pain. my dearest friend was my strength, she was the words i needed, she was the arms that wrapped me so tightly and never let go...she was the shoulder and the ears that kept me sane.... i remember something she said to me during that time...
"you will never heal completely,... but you will learn to live again; even with a broken heart"......, i keep trying to hold onto my memories and a love that even death cannot erase. that's it.. i said it... it's something i can't fix... i can't make better. i opened up, i expressed it.. and that is huge for me..

My girls have been so sweet....i am truly blessed, ... we got thru all the holidays.. Thanksgiving.. was at my house this year.. we cooked, baked and shopped the entire weekend. I needed the laughter... the breath of fresh air that comes so naturally with twenty somethings..

after dinner, we joined the thousands of atlanta shoppers was so much fun spending the entire weekend with these sweeties... later we all stopped by my house for coffee and dessert and back out again... we tag teamed the sales... cellphones were going off constantly during the manic super sales... i ticked off half my list that evening.. xoxo the rest was online shopping!
Friday afternoon Erin "my youngest" and i hit up every tree farm in atlanta .. in search of the perfect Christmas Tree... (she informed me i was too picky).. lol... nah... i just knew when i had found the tree.. it felt right.. the smell.. oh gosh.. the smell of a Christmas tree is so incredibly nostalgic.. i can close my eyes and vividly remember my childhood Christmases; just by the smell of a Christmas tree.

here she is... (sans the lights)...
Christmas morning santa comes... he always unloads his sleigh; right in the middle of our living room...we celebrate Christmas with our family on Christmas Eve, and then midnight service. Christmas morning is Santa...

family room

I had scheduled to have a new roof installed after Thanksgiving... due to rescheduling by the contractor twice .. it was installed Christmas week.. things never go as planned.. ever!!!! lol
a roofer fell thru the ceiling!!! ... oh yes he did!!!!... 2 days before my sister was coming in town for Christmas.. i had sheet rock being installed and sanding and painting... now that it is over.. i can laugh.. but NOT then.. (oh btw, nobody was injured .. he fell thru and caught himself on the rafter and dropped into the living room).. i was not home when this happened.. thank goodness.

fast forward to Valentines Day..
I spy beautiful blooming tulips... xoxo..

and that brings us to present time... one step at a time... one day at a time.. reminding myself of the present, and never ever forgetting the past.

till next time

No comments:

Post a Comment